A Practical Guide for Personal and Professional Growth
Emotional intelligence plays a vital role in how we interact with others, manage our own behaviour, navigate stress, and make decisions. This guide is designed to deepen your understanding of emotional intelligence and provide practical steps to develop it, with a focus on real-world application in both workplace and personal contexts.
What Is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to recognise, understand, manage, and influence emotions – both your own and those of others.
“Emotional Intelligence is the “ability to monitor one’s own and other people’s emotions” (Salovey and Mayer, 1990)”.
Emotional intelligence includes your capacity for:
- Self-awareness – Recognising your emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behaviour
- Self-regulation (emotional control) – Managing impulsive feelings and behaviours in healthy ways
- Motivation – Using emotional energy to pursue goals with persistence
- Empathy (social awareness) – Understanding how others are feeling
- Social skills (relationship management) – Building and maintaining healthy relationships
Why Emotional Intelligence Matters
Research shows that 95% of people believe they are self-aware, but only 10–15% actually are.
In the workplace, emotional intelligence helps you:
- Communicate clearly and confidently
- Navigate conflict and workplace challenges
- Support and lead teams with empathy
- Stay calm and focused under pressure
- Foster respectful and inclusive environments
Outside of work, emotional intelligence helps you:
- Build stronger personal relationships
- Better manage stress and emotions
- Increase self-confidence and resilience
- Improve mental health and emotional wellbeing
How Can You Develop Your Emotional Intelligence?
Improving your emotional intelligence is an ongoing process. Below are some key strategies:
1. Practice Self Awareness
Self-awareness means recognising how you’re feeling, understanding the cause, and noticing how your emotions influence your behaviour.
💡 Tip: If you’re feeling anxious or frustrated, take a moment to reflect before reacting. Self-awareness gives you the space to respond more intentionally.
2. Recognise How Others Are Feeling
Understanding others’ emotions involves observing verbal and non-verbal cues and adjusting your own communication accordingly.
💡 Tip: Tailor your language or tone to suit the emotional state of the person you’re engaging with. Empathy builds stronger connections.
3. Communicate Clearly
Expressing yourself clearly – both in writing and speech – helps others understand your perspective and reduces the chance of misunderstandings.
💡 Tip: Choose your words carefully, and pay attention to non-verbal signals like body language and tone. Avoid reacting in the heat of the moment.
4. Be Open-Minded
Being emotionally intelligent includes staying receptive to others’ ideas and perspectives. Listening with empathy builds trust and rapport.
💡 Tip: Practice active listening, seek to understand before responding, and be willing to embrace new ideas or feedback.
5. Stay Calm Under Pressure
Being able to manage stress and remain composed in challenging situations is a key sign of emotional strength.
💡 Tip: Take a breath, pause before reacting, and maintain a positive, solution-focused mindset.
Understanding Emotional Awareness and Its Effects
Developing emotional intelligence starts with improving emotional awareness and recognising the effects emotions have on your behaviour and decisions.
Tips for improving self-awareness:
- Seek constructive feedback from others.
- Journal your thoughts and feelings.
- Practice mindfulness.
- Learn new skills and enforce goal setting.
- Use positive self-talk daily.
Managing Emotions:
Managing your emotions isn’t about pushing them down and ignoring them. It’s all about finding the right moment and place to let them out. Keeping control means sharing how you feel the right way. Before you react, take a moment to calm down instead of just jumping in. Don’t forget to pause, take a breath, and do what it takes to manage your own emotions.
Tips for managing emotions:
- View challenges as opportunities.
- Be mindful of thoughts and feelings.
- Practice communication and social skills.
- Recognising that you have control over how you respond
- Develop calming tools like deep breathing, pausing, or seeking support
Strengthening Empathy and Social Awareness
Empathy is the ability to comprehend how other people are feeling and it is key part in forming emotional intelligence. It allows you to identify the emotional state of others and determine how you will respond.
Tips on strengthening empathy:
- Practice active, non-judgmental listening.
- Try to see situations from another’s point of view.
- Provide validation to the feelings of others – even if you don’t fully understand them.
- Ask open-ended questions to better understand someone’s experience.
- Don’t always assume that you understand – take time to check in and clarify.
Understanding and Preventing Burnout
If you’re feeling drained, overwhelmed by even simple tasks, or finding yourself easily frustrated or angry due to stress, you might be experiencing burnout.
Burnout is defined by the APA Dictionary of Psychology, as “physical, emotional or mental exhaustion, often accompanied by reduced motivation, decreased performance, and negative attitudes toward yourself and others”.
Understand the signs of burnout
Everyone experiences burnout differently, but it’s important to remember that you are not alone. Common signs may include:
- Constant fatigue, even after rest
- Frustration or irritability
- Loss of motivation or interest in work
- Difficulty concentrating
- Sleep disturbances or headaches
- Feeling emotionally distant or detached
Recovery and Prevention Tips
Recognising that you are experiencing burnout is the first step to recovery. Make sure to prioritise your mental health and practice mindfulness techniques. Tips for managing burnout include:
- Identify and address the sources of stress
- Create clear boundaries between work and personal life
- Practice mindfulness or daily relaxation rituals
- Move your body – regular physical activity can help
- Take regular breaks and use your leave
- Talk to someone – a friend, trusted colleague, manager, or mental health professional
Getting Help:
If you, or someone else, is in immediate danger you should call the police on 000. For non-emergency police help, contact 131 444.
If you are experiencing crisis and need support, there are many free, confidential support services available:
- Lifeline is a free and confidential service staffed by trained telephone counsellors to assist people in crisis. Lifeline is open to people of all ages. Phone: 13 11 14
- TIACS is a free phone and text counselling service offering mental health support to Australia’s blue-collar community. Phone: 0488 846 988
- Beyond Blue is a free phone and online chat service for those struggling with their mental health. Phone: 1300 224 636
Reaching out is a sign of strength – you do not have to go through challenges alone.
References/Further Reading:
APA Dictionary of Psychology, Burn Out: APA Dictionary of Psychology
MindSpot Resources, Managing Anger: MindSpot Resource: Managing Anger
Beyond Blue, Resources Library: Resource Library – Beyond Blue – Beyond Blue
Cleveland Clinic, what is Burn Out: Burnout: 5 Signs and What to Do About It
Emotional Intelligence, Baywood Publishing, Peter Salovey & John Mayer: pub153_SaloveyMayerICP1990_OCR.pdf
Positive Solutions Behaviour Group: The Power of Empathy: How to Improve Your Social Skills
Psychology Today: 5 Steps for Developing Real Empathy | Psychology Today
Simply Psychology: Emotional Intelligence (EQ): Components and Examples
Simply Psychology, Ho to Improve Emotional Intelligence: How To Improve Emotional Intelligence
Exploring Your Mind: Salovey and Mayer’s Emotional Intelligence Theory: Salovey and Mayer’s Emotional Intelligence Theory – Exploring your mind
Sage Journals, Emotional Intelligence: Emotional Intelligence – Peter Salovey, John D. Mayer, 1990
The Forem, only 15% of people are truly self-aware. Here’s how to change that: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/only-15-people-truly-self-aware-heres-how-change-the-forem-co-hn98e/
Coursera, What is Emotional Intelligence? And why its important in the workplace: What Is Emotional Intelligence? And Why It’s Important in the Workplace | Coursera
